Invisible things
When one thinks about the Word “art” it’s always difficult to get a clear definition. It’s one of those things that make you feel having some water in your hands and being afraid of losing it. Art is life, that’s all I can say. And life takes you to new worlds, worlds full of invisible things. One day I discovered a beautiful door. I decided to open it and there I listened to the music of Vanishing Twins, the artistic project of Jeanne Madic, an open door to the look for light.
What’s inside your “ Black girl ” ’s heart ?
Only my closest friends & family know .
ps: " Black girl " is the alternative title of the song by Leadbelly more commonly known as " In the Pines " or " Where did you sleep last night ? " . Nirvana inspired me to record my own version of it ( you can hear a demo version on my Myspace : http://www.myspace.com/jeannevsmonsters ) with the help of Olivier Khai DAO on guitar & Ben Mc Connell on drums . I think Nirvana's version is absolutely beautiful. As a teen in the 1990's , Kurt Cobain had been and still is a huge influence for me.
As a creative you work with light, words and sounds. What are you trying to do ?
I am passionate about all forms of arts in a sort of humanist way and I feel a need to produce a little something each day. I can't say that I know for sure what I'm " trying to do " but I definitely have this urge / need to experiment using several mediums & share . I am very disorganized in the way I work ( if you'd see the mess in my work studio !!! it's rather chaos , negatives , prints , drawings and cds everywhere ), but I would find it so boring if I knew where I was going and I would panic if I had to organize things too much in advance.
Light is something that I seek and often lose. I've been taking photographs since the age of 15 when my dad ( Charles MADIC ) who was ( I think ) a talented amateur photographer , offered me a MINOLTA camera. I was very excited. Then I learned darkroom techniques in high school and used to spend hours there instead of going to class , faking I was sick. I was positively obsessed . The first images I printed were b&w photos that my father took in the 1970's and also some incredibly fragile & beautiful old photographic silver gelatin glass plates from the 1890's that a friend mother's had in her orientalist art editions' archives , all coming from Morocco & Tunisia. Tunisia is where my mother grew up and where my parents met , and also where one of my aunts , Joëlle , is buried.. so I was even more fascinated by these faded images as they seemed to be part of my origins.
As for music , I have been a musician since the age of 7 ( I was trained classically , I used to play in orchestras & baroque ensembles and learned loads of traditional/ folk music too ) so music has always been a big part of my life , though these days a bit less because of a problem with my ears that happened after an accident. I need to have an operation … I play different wind instruments , accordion , a bit of keyboards . I also have a bass guitar and an acoustic guitar at home. I like to experiment . I'm more interested in sound quality , through slowness and repetition, than in learning techniques . It's a very DIY approach that I have now. I guess it's something low-fi , experimental , meditative. It's been about 3 years that I'm dreaming to buy this soul-soothing Bohemian harp made by a young German luthier , but I don't have the funds for now … and also this early 1900's German piano that's at the bar in my neighborhood ! I want it so bad !
I've been recording songs since 2005 in different cities , different studios , with different people and I wish to release an EP and an album soon , they will be a sort of compilation of my past 7 years' experimentations . A sort of puzzle. I have the name for the two albums , the artworks , I just need to either self-release them or find a label that would do so. I was going to work with different small art labels but I am now thinking I should self-publish it unless a satisfying contract with a label turns up ( it's very unlikely these days ). I am also thinking of trying to set up a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for it.
Recently I was asked by canadian / icelandic filmmaker Guy Maddin ( I love his dreamy films which I discovered back in 2003 when I was living in Glasgow ) to compose music for his next series of short films named " Hauntings " ( in which I will also be acting ). The project is very interesting … He is shooting his own versions of films lost in the cinema history. Films that never made it to the screen , for various reasons . A lost Jean Cocteau film , a lost Germaine Dulac , a lost Jean Vigo ( in which his daughter Luce Vigo will have a role !) , a lost Hitchcock , and so on …. so many of them ! They will all be viewable on a website later and shown in art gallery contexts . I guess the music I write for this project ( I am one of the many other musicians involved ) will also become another album release later .
Do you dream?
I dream a lot - at night time, but during daytime too! So much that the boundaries often blur .. I remember my dreams all the time & write them down or talk about them right away with my friends. I was told the more you talk about them , the more you're likely to remember them every time. I love my dreams . They often inspire my photoshoots , they haunt me with evocative , symbolic and mysterious images . I remember this beautiful one where I was living in a community that had built their houses up in trees. I wanted to stay there forever . I also remember this one where I was by the ocean , and after a giant storm , my dear dead father was brought back to me by the waves , he was there on the shore , waiting to hug me. It was really heartbreaking and so real to be able to see him and be in his arms again. I am in love with this never-ending cinema seance that I experience every night . Reality & routines are things I have problems to deal with. Dreams to me are like this long awaited open door to another poetic reality . In my daily routine I often feel like I'm in jail. Guy said to me recently that we often create our own jails in life . It may be so but I find it extremely hard to stop the process.
Who are the Vanishing Twins ?
I named my solo project Vanishing Twins after reading a book about body memory ( " Votre corps a une mémoire " by Myriam Brousse ) , it's further developed on my blog where I posted an article about early multiple pregnancies & that syndrome --I was looking for a name for my music project for a long time ( I didn't want to be named " Jeanne Madic " on stage at all ) but couldn't find any that fit. When I read the book it became so evident and like an answer to my quest-- I've always had that feeling since my youngest age that I've had twin brothers and sisters that had vanished in the womb and left me with an incurable melancholia. I think I am still looking for them through other people . It's always disappointing. I was calling them ' ma bande de loups " . We were this troupe of lost children , coming from another planet , but all scattered and lonely. When I was little I could see invisible things in the air. I'd always talk about them but no one really paid attention because we live in a society that doesn't encourage to see these magic things anymore .
I feel blessed now that my godson Alexandre seems to experience the same thing. He is 7 yrs old and he always talks about his invisible brother. I love him so much for this !!! I hope he will keep on talking about him for a while , keep him alive . I find this fascinating . I hope this world won't turn him into a overly rationalist person. I doubt it though , he seems so special and poetic. I feel he is different .
Here is a link to my Vimeo account where you can watch a Super-8 film that I made of him and his little sister ( they are my niece and nephews).
“ Never it will be the same ” ?
" Never it will be the same again " is the title of a very rare release by the English ghost-rock band PIANO MAGIC on which I guest on vocals , field recordings and diatonic accordion , thanks to Glen Johnson ( the singer and guitarist of the band ) and Franck Alba ( the second guitarist and my ex-partner in life) who invited me . It's released on vinyl only to a number of 100 on the label Bottropp-boy and it comes with two signed drawings by the contemporary artist Bojan Šarčević . It's a beautiful record I think and I am grateful I am a part of it since I love PIANO MAGIC 's music so much. Though I wish more people could get ahold of it.
When you think about life going on without you, what do you feel ?
When I was little I would never miss a day at school even if I was sick , I'd always want to go. I'd beg my mother to let me go. I was very scared of missing any thing , being left on the side. I think I was very scared to be alone. I think I still am now. I often need distraction because I am tortured psychologically when I'm really on my own. The ghosts come to visit me and leave me with no rest … I don't sleep at night !
Imagine yourself bare feet on a cold water river in an empty space ... could you end that story?
That's where I'll be next week ! such a dream, in Brittany that is, where my mother and sister live. I wish I could just live there and leave Paris sometimes. I miss the ocean so much ! and my family , too.
Here is a link to some photos taken by French photographer Aëla Labbé at this beautiful addictive place I am talking about !
Your photographic art is a way to capture life ?
My photos often capture ghosts , invisible things and hidden feelings, more often that they capture real " life ". I think recently I've put the focus on these " perfect " moments with my family & friends where magic suddenly happens , when light is special and pure , when intimacy is tangible and shared , when emotions are positive . Even though this intimacy sometimes reveal dark , melancholic things. I wish these " perfect " moments would happen more often . I live for them and treasure them. But they are rare . I live through my photographs . I am also involved in fashion more and more these days ( I model and I sometimes work in collaboration with stylists as a photographer ). François Michaud who is a curator and conservator at the Musée d'Art Moderne in Paris wrote a text about my visual work a few years ago after seeing it in a collective exhibition I was part of in a gallery in le Marais. Here it is ... It's titled " the clairvoyant ". In french . I like what he says a lot :
" La Voyante:
Il n'y a pas de représentation qui aille de soi. Qui est derrière l'image? Qui est devant l'objectif ? Où est l'autre quand je le regarde et où sont ceux qui ne sont pas nommés ? Tout appelle la répétition: le mécanisme de la prise, le déroulement des photogrammes, l'obsession de la présence. Jeanne Madic, quand elle photographie et quand elle filme, est derrière la caméra comme sur la pellicule. Ses modèles sont ses doubles, ou bien c'est elle qui voudrait être l'autre – le fantôme –, présent et passé joués à la roulette sur un instantané. Il me semble que la permanence est l'ambition profonde de ces images. Tenir quelque chose, comme un deuxième réel, un autre espace-temps, dans lequel on vivrait pour ainsi dire mieux que dans celui qu’agrippe encore le vrai passé, collé avec toutes ses couches. Récemment, les images ont trouvé des compagnes – poupées, photos anciennes, part venue de l'enfance ou plutôt de ce roman auquel seuls croient les adultes. Je me demande si elles vont rester, si elles ne vont pas s'effacer ou se fondre, pour qu’on en garde juste un faux souvenir. Je viens de voir les portraits de Nour, si lumineux, si sombres – tout ensemble –, comme s’ils étaient à peine sortis de la chambre (la chambre noire ou l’autre ?). Jeanne s’emploie, je crois, à recomposer le passé comme le fait dans Ubik, le roman de Philippe K. Dick, celle dont le pouvoir consiste à changer le cours du temps. Rien, peut-être, ne sera plus comme avant."
François Michaud, conservateur au Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris, 2007.
Could a person rain ?
I can . I know it can sound pretentious but I often feel like I can create big snow storms or release lightnings. Last Spring in Paris was like an explosion , like a bomb. The energies were incredible , violent . I felt the Fukushima earthquake and tsunami even though it happened so far away. I also felt it when the Earth was stuck in alignment with the Sun and in between those two giant planets far away, caught up in between two gigantic attraction forces , creating magma movements .
ps : You should listen to this PIANO MAGIC song ( " Never it will be the same again " ) that is actually on the same record I guested on . I adore and admire Glen Johnson 's beautiful evocative writing & spoken word . His delivery is incredibly unique and poetic. These are the words :
" What I came to miss has no name. I can only try to describe. As a young man it felt as though I perfectly mirrored the sky. When it rained, I rained. When it was grey, I was grey. And when the sun came out, I came out of myself as if I were shedding a skin and stepping into a new beautiful world : my whole chemistry, seasonally affective. And I paid much more attention to the sky than I do these days. There just seemed to be more sky. And its clouds passed through me and its rain was absorbed deep into my skin. And its snow settled on my heart. What I came to miss has no name. I can only try to describe. When a boy, I ran home over fields as it turned dark; my heart beating in my mouth after some almighty adventure. And the sky ran after me. And its clouds, like grey eagles, wings outstretched, clawed. And this was my fear of the impending night: what I felt within, turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. And mirrored in the sky. Turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. Turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. Turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. "
ps 2 : I would also recommend a book to read on that subject . It's a short theatre play called " Knives in Hens " , written by a contemporary Scottish author named David Harrower . This initiatic story inspired me so much that I had to move to Scotland in 2002 and take trips to the Highlands , I completely identified with the young woman character in the play. It was such a mythical time for me. I do miss Scotland very much !
How is to live a “ denial ” ? ( because of your song “ the denial ”)
It's the most difficult thing and I would not wish it on anyone really. It can absolutely destroy you.
This song that I sing ( and that you can hear on my Myspace ) was written by my Scottish poet friend Malcolm Stewart. He wrote it for his girlfriend at the time , Monica , when we were all living in London , in the same neighbourhood ( Crystal Palace ). It's a very dark song that speaks about very personal matter. I was then asked to give it a try & record my own version of it at Franck Alba's studio ( it's him on the guitar ). Monica and I must have shared some similar experiences in life as I felt like the song could have been written for me too.
What does the light mean to you ?
Everything. Absolutely. I am seeking it everyday . I am always afraid to lose it completely . This would be so tragic .
Foto de Christian Simon © 2011
